As I was walking through the Magic Kingdom with my new wife we passed a Photopass+ photographer who was attempting to frame a family in front of Cinderella’s castle. The photographer was patient; it was a situation she was obviously used to seeing throughout the day, as a mother frantically tried to control her three children who were running around, crying, falling asleep and not the least bit interested in having their picture taken.
Shortly afterward, whilst in the line for Jungle Cruise, a child ahead of us announced to his mother that he needed to go to the bathroom. “I asked you if you wanted to go before we got in line,” she said before she left the line, sighing and dragging her son behind her, never to be seen again.
It was barely nine-thirty in the morning and already two sets of parents, at least from an outsider’s perspective, were having a terrible time.
This continued throughout the day – a child crying because they didn’t serve his favorite tater tots at Columbia Harbor House, a girl screaming in her father’s face because he wouldn’t let her buy the expensive model of the castle in the gift shop, a parent bellowing at their children for running around whilst they were trying to relax for just five minutes out of a twelve hour day.
The worst moment came in the parking lot at Animal Kingdom a few days into our trip – a girl literally lying on the floor, kicking and screaming, while her parents stood above her looking like they were having the worst day of their life.
They hadn’t even been into the park yet.
For a lot of people, taking a vacation to Walt Disney World is a rare treat – something which takes a great deal of saving and planning to do. There were a couple of moments throughout our trip where I heard parents ask their children “Do you realize how much this vacation cost us?” A question which is no doubt asked countless times by countless parents to children who, quite frankly, don’t realize how much their vacation cost at all.
When you have a child, your day is ruled by them. You do what you can to please your child, and if that means you have to ride Dumbo 11 times in a row just to stop them from screaming, you will probably do that.
Okay, I understand that not all children are like this, and neither are all parents, but the amount of times I saw mothers and fathers with a sad or angry look on their face told me that it isn’t worth the risk. I also understand that I may have just been witnessing minor blips in these families otherwise magical days, but as somebody who selfishly guards his personal time so closely, do I want to risk taking small children to Walt Disney World only for them to rule where I go, what I do and when I do it?
I am not stating this to get a rise out of people, and I am genuinely interested to hear from people who spend an entire 12 hour day in the park with their children and don’t encounter some kind of drama, but what I am also curious to know is this: Are the smiles worth it?
When your daughter dresses like Cinderella and finally gets to meet Anna and Elsa after a 3 hour queue, does her smile help to make the morning of kicking and screaming worth it? And is that all forgotten once the crying starts all over again because she isn’t allowed to ride Dumbo for the 12th time?
My wife and I don’t currently have children, and I realize that writing this article may make me sound like a cantankerous old man, but I don’t imagine I would have the patience to take a small child on what is an expensive vacation to Walt Disney World. My wife and I have had this discussion, and we have agreed that we wouldn’t take a child until they reach 10 years old, maybe 8 at a push.
At this age they will be old enough to remember at least some of their trip in the future, as well as be tall enough to ride most of the rides. Yes, they will even have a little more appreciation for “how much this vacation is costing.”
Who knows, if and when I have kids I may feel differently. On their third birthday I may decide to drag the whole family on a plane to take them to the most magical place on earth – I just hope that if that day comes I don’t look back at my past self and hear the words “I told you so.”
About the author: Mike is a writer and performer and can be found on twitter HERE and YouTube HERE.
