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Disney Confessional: Breaking Your Own Rules

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Welcome back to another chapter of Disney Confessional where I share my innermost awkward thoughts and feelings with you all in the interest of some camaraderie, and a bit of a laugh.

You’ve all heard me talk about the best ways to travel. How to nail the planning, what to do on the flight, even what to pack for a successful trip. So what happens when, despite all the experience and know-how, you choose to break one of your own rules? You become the topic of discussion in your own DIS article, that’s what happens.

Have you ever seen me tell you to never bring anything new on your vacation? Well, my friends, do as I say, not as I do. Last year’s spirited road trip across the USA saw me bring along a new pair of leggings. You know, the sporty kind, not because I am in any way sporty, but because they are comfortable and I can wear them anywhere. They were Nike, similar to the ones that I have had before in the same size but a different style. Are you rightfully sitting there shaking your head at my ignorance in disgust? If you are, I have taught you well.

So there I was, sitting in my hotel room on day 5 of our adventure, excited to be putting on a clean pair of pants for the first time in the better part of a week. Our trip was a month long that year, and perfectly pristine clothing was hard to come by after the first few days since we were not yet at a destination that had an option to do laundry. This meant I was super excited. Today was going to be a new pants day, not a pants-I-wore-on-the-plane day or a freshly-Febrezed-pants day.

New pants.

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*** In the interest of fairness, that is not my bum. I wish it were, but it’s not. ***

I pulled them up, giddy with enthusiasm that it was going to be an amazing day. After all, how could it not? It’s new freakin’ pants day!

The waist on these pants is super comfortable, loose even, but in a good way. I optimistically tell myself that this could be some sort of sudden weight loss given how much time I spent throwing up on the international flight from Australia. Or perhaps this new style of legging was just a comfier design from people who understood that women don’t always want to have everything stuffed in like a sardine and walk around like they are in a full body compression suit. It’s super uncomfortable, and, to be honest, I prefer to be able to breathe.

Off we trot, out the door and on to Epcot. And that is where this tale of regret and incompetence begins. My pants start to wriggle down. As I walk my speedy walk, only reserved for Disney, the one my sister appropriately calls my Disney Walk, my pants start to creep down my legs. Ooooh nooooo! If this is happening now, what will they be like after a few hours once the newness is stretched out of them?

Well, folks, it wasn’t pretty.

It turns out the one piece of merchandise that Disney doesn’t offer you at an inflated price that you would happily pay on the fly is a set of suspenders. You’d think you could get just about everything you need in Disney, but no. Not that day.

I spent the rest of the day hiking up my pants like I was new and this was my first time being out of the house. In the morning, I had developed this very subtle way of inching them back up discreetly but by afternoon, I was just yanking them up without care for the watching audience. It was better than the direction in which they were otherwise headed. You will thank me later.

A few days passed and I brought the disgraced leggings out of their detention pocket of my suitcase where they had been sent due to my repugnance. They looked at me apologetically, still looking very new and clean compared to my other pants. I decided to give them a go, but not without a trip to the washer and dryer first. Let’s shrink them on down!

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Did you know that the one time when you want the dryer to shrink your clothing, it doesn’t? Yep, apparently, it’s all about intention. You need to use reverse psychology on that vindictive drying machine or it will take your pants, say get stuffed, and spit them back out even bigger than they were before.

So today, I confess to you that I broke my own first rule of theme park traveling. Never, ever, take anything new to wear. I did, however, pay the price.

I will now proceed to write my lines, apologize to the Disney gods and atone for my sins.

I won’t wear new clothes in Disney.

I won’t wear new clothes in Disney.

I won’t wear new clothes in Disney.

My Nike tights/leggings are still a traveling staple in my suitcase but never again will I take new ones that aren’t tried and tested. The only consolation in this harrowing lack of judgment? At least I know better than to ever wear new shoes to Disney.

Zoë Wood is a travel writer from Sydney, Australia. Since her first visit to Disneyland at the age of 6, she has spent her years frequently visiting Disney Parks and traveling around the world.

Join Zoë as she lets you in on all the tips, tricks, anecdotes, and embarrassments that arise from her family adventures.


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