When you go on enough adventures or invite enough family members, there will always be the point where the cracks start forming within your group. Personalities clash, and priorities differ; the wrong set of circumstances can be a recipe for disaster. Disney isn’t always rainbows and sunshine like we see on TV, and even the Disney bubble can’t always save us from bringing our emotional baggage from home along for the ride. We’ve got a few tips that can help you along the way. Whether you are traveling with a large group of extended family or navigating life through a difficult time with your immediate crew, here are some of our tips to avoid a bigger problem when you arrive at your Disney destination.
Spend Time Together Before You Go
One mistake I see repeatedly occurs when larger groups venture to Walt Disney World to enjoy some special time with their extended family. Now, sure, it’s a lovely idea in theory. Still, anyone who has traveled frequently knows that you need to have a very particular rapport with your travel buddies to enjoy the best possible outcome. Taking a family that doesn’t spend much time together at home and throwing them into a high-stress situation fueled with conflicting interests, exhaustion, and pressure to create those bonding moments is not necessarily the correct answer. If possible, try to spend some time together before you go. Host a big BBQ, or if you are scattered in different parts of the state (or country), try a group Zoom call (one for adults and one for kids) to get things rolling and start to see how personalities gel. Talk about your preferences and hopes for the trip so that with some forward planning you can cover the must-do bases for everyone. It’s much easier to learn that Uncle Ben is afraid of heights and Cousin Sarah can’t be in the sun for too long at a time before you leave for vacation. Sharing the excitement for the trip to come will also help bring you a little closer in advance of your vacation; that anticipation is half the fun!
Don’t Go to Disney To Save the Family
I know, this one sounds almost mean. However, I have a personal experience with more than one friend who planned and booked a Disney vacation for her strained family in an effort to throw happy putty in those cracks. The worst part is it never works. As mentioned above, Disney can be a highly stressful environment, and the attitude you bring to the parks is more important than anything. The idea makes sense. Everyone is struggling; if we go to The Happiest Place on Earth, we will have to be happy, right? Wrong. The husband and wife who can’t seem to get on the same page about anything aren’t going to find life any easier with cranky kids, frustrating crowds, and endless waiting for the few moments of distraction. A strong family relationship is what makes Disney vacation magic become a reality.
Plan Activities Together and Separately
When traveling with your family, it’s unrealistic to think that the relationship stars will align and everyone will have the same interests. If the people in your party are of an age where you can make it work, plan to do some activities together and some separately; that way, you can not only enjoy different aspects of your vacation, but you can also cherish those special family dinners where everyone comes together to share the best parts of their day. It’s a pretty cool thing. Whether it’s your teenagers reporting back on their little brush with short-lived independence or your extended family detailing everything they saw on the scheduled rest day, sharing that joy at the end of the day is priceless.
Get Separate Rooms
While it may be tempting to get more spacious accommodation and all stay together, sometimes the best thing a family can have is a little downtime where everyone has their own space. If you don’t live together at home in a practiced dynamic of putting up with each other, don’t push the limits by making your vacation a 24/7 togetherness experiment. Smaller separate rooms will pay off in the long run and give everyone time to breathe before you come back together again the next day.
Set Rules Around Spending
One argument that I’ve heard many families engage in when visiting Disney Parks is about money, and there is one clear solution: Set boundaries early. You might be planning to split every bill down the line, or each section of the family pays for their group; perhaps you would prefer to take turns taking care of the bill in its entirety. No matter how you want to organize things, get ahead of it before you go and make sure everyone is on the same page. For families with teens and kids, set spending limits from the beginning. Doing so makes it easier for kids to make decisions while also serving as a learning experience in balancing their wants with their means. I like to make all my spending boundaries clear since I usually look after this aspect of our trip (along with most others), including details like everyone can have one snack per day, so use it wisely! Just like a snack credit on the Disney Dining Plan, I like to let my kids know what we will and won’t be covering; from there, they can choose to use their own money if they wish or use their snack credit with Mum (Aussie for Mom) wisely.
Work Out Your Grievances Before You Go
You know that saying ‘never go to bed angry?’ Well, I like to say never go to Disney angry. If you start your trip harboring leftover feelings from an issue that popped up at home, the pressures of the parks are sure to make those cracks more prominent over the course of your trip. Put in the work before you leave and try to find some sort of middle ground to drop that drama before it escalates. Call a family meeting and get everything out on the table ahead of time, preferably with a buffer window to let the dust settle before you go, even if that means fighting it out in advance. If your family isn’t on great terms, maybe going through a rough time, or finding each other to be irritable, working on the relationship before you go is worth its weight in gold.
Give Everyone a Chance To Be In Control
When you have a family that isn’t always on the same page, sometimes it is a good idea to encourage everyone to participate in the planning process. You can assign jobs, divide the family into teams, or let members of your family choose any or every part of a particular day. The more you encourage that inclusive attitude, the more each person can become emotionally invested in the vacation. Choosing a dining location, your first ride of the day, or even your snack-stop destination can be a helpful way to keep family members, especially teens, more present in the process.
If you’ve experienced some of that family drama while visiting Disney, share your best tips below on navigating through it for a better and more enjoyable vacation.
