In Keep, Update, Or Demolish I have selected and reviewed attractions that I’ve heard a lot of critical reviews of. I combine my personal opinion with the general consensus of these attractions and determine the fate of certain Disney Parks attractions – whether Disney should keep it, update it, or demolish it.
Davy Crockett’s Explorer Canoes – Keep
This attraction is often criticized for being too simple, but what those critics don’t understand is, that is sort of the point. If you want some good old fashioned fun, then partake in paddling Davy Crockett’s Explorer Canoes. Yes, you actually have to paddle. There is nothing automated about this attraction. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much fun this attraction can be. It is certainly a great example of “don’t knock it, until you’ve try it.” Be warned, you will get splashed a little on this attraction from other paddlers, but it is well worth it.
Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage – Keep
This attraction smells musty, makes most riders feel claustrophobic, and is extremely uncomfortable for anyone 6 feet or taller. With that said, it is still extremely popular. This ride garners lines that are 30 or 40 minutes long. Children love Finding Nemo, and there is very little presence of that movie outside of this attraction at the Disneyland Resort. As much as this ride needs an update, there really isn’t much that could be done to improve it. To fix most of this attraction’s problems it would need an entire infrastructure change, which would be extremely costly. So for now, this ride should remain the way it is.
Matterhorn Bobsleds – Update
The Matterhorn Bobsleds whips guests so quickly around every turn that it is almost impossible to ride without getting a headache. This attraction is old. In fact, it is the first tubular steel continuous track roller coaster ever built. This attraction has historical importance for roller coaster fans. When it was built it was a prime example of Disney’s ingenuity, but now something has to be done to make this attraction more comfortable. New foam was added to the seats recently, but it isn’t enough. Guests feel like they are ragdolls while riding this attraction, and the Disney Imagineers need to think of something to ease the discomfort of this attraction.
Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island – Demolish
At this point Tom Sawyer Island isn’t what it used to be. Now that Star Wars Land is taking over the back half of Rivers of America, this attraction is about to get smaller, and even less significant in this park. A small restaurant or ride would be great to draw people to the island, and now is the perfect time to do it with all the construction going on over there. Very few children today know who Tom Sawyer is, and rebranding it as Pirate’s Lair did very little to help. For that reason, I think they need to gut the island, and start over. Unfortunately, it is highly doubtful anything will be done with Tom Sawyer Island to improve it, or as I suggest, completely start over.
Storybook Land Canal Boats – Keep
The Storybook Land Canal Boats are a Disneyland classic, and probably one of my favorite things Disneyland has that the Magic Kingdom does not. This attraction is the perfect example of how Disney nails the small details. Every little detail on these miniatures is so ornate and beautiful. This is the type of attraction that makes Disneyland Park feel slightly more magical than the Magic Kingdom in Florida.
Sleeping Beauty Castle Walkthrough – Keep
The Sleep Beauty Castle Walkthrough is cramped. It essentially a tunnel that is the width of a full grown adult’s shoulders, making it somewhat uncomfortable to walk through. With that said, at least this castle has an attraction type of experience inside of it. Unlike Cinderella’s Castle in the Magic Kingdom, which is huge comparatively, this attraction actually found the space to have an attraction on the inside. The cute story inside is worth looking at if you are willing to squeeze yourself through.
