In Keep, Update, Or Demolish, I have selected and reviewed attractions that I’ve heard a lot of critical reviews of. I combine my personal opinion with the general consensus of these attractions and determine the fate of certain Disney Parks attractions – whether Disney should keep it, update it, or demolish it.
The PeopleMover – Keep
If you want any reasoning for why the PeopleMover should never be replaced, or changed in the Magic Kingdom, look to Disneyland’s failed Rocket Rods. In 1995, Disneyland closed their version of the PeopleMover, and three years later it was replaced by Rocket Rods, which was one of the worst failures in Disney Parks history. Rocket Rods was unpopular, and constantly closed for mechanical failures. Rocket Rods closed just two years after it opened, making it one of the shortest operating attractions at Disneyland. Today Disneyland’s PeopleMover/Rocket Rod track is still standing and is a clear reminder of the once great attraction. As you can see, trying to update the PeopleMover into something new was a failure. There is no reason to replace the PeopleMover as it is still beloved by so many guests. The PeopleMover is a perfect little ride when you want a nice relaxing 10-minute break to your hectic day in the parks.
Tomorrowland Speedway – Demolish
Looking at an aerial view of the Magic Kingdom, the Tomorrowland Speedway takes up almost half of Tomorrowland. I understand that this attraction is fun for children who have never driven a car before, but the potential for this space is too high for them to keep it as the Tomorrowland Speedway for much longer. The Magic Kingdom is the most visited theme park in the entire world, and future expansions will be necessary in the near future. The Tomorrowland Speedway offers the space Disney would need to create an expansion on the level of the New Fantasyland expansion in 2012.
The Country Bear Jamboree – Keep
Yes, the Country Bear Jamboree is cheesy, silly, and over the top, but it also beloved by many guests. There was outcry when Disneyland lost their version of the same show, and I think taking it away from the Magic Kingdom would be disastrous. This show was in the Magic Kingdom on opening day, but unlike the Tomorrowland Speedway (which was also an opening day attraction), the Country Bear Jamboree doesn’t take up very much room in the Magic Kingdom, so it wouldn’t provide the space for a new E-Ticket attraction.
The Swiss Family Treehouse – Demolish
Ever since The Magic Carpet of Aladdin was added to Adventureland in 2001, that area of the park became extremely crowded. It bottlenecks in a couple places throughout the land. One solution would be to take down The Swiss Family Treehouse. I don’t understand the appeal of The Swiss Family Treehouse anymore. At this point it is just a waste of space in a land that needs all the space it can get. This isn’t an attraction that absorbs many guests, and at this point the space would be better used to alleviate, and spread out, the crowds.
Tom Sawyer Island – Update
Today, in a generation of kids that stare at iPads and iPods all day, unfortunately Tom Sawyer Island is no longer appealing to today’s youngsters. This is a sad statement to make, and I am sure some kids today are the exception to this rule, but for most kids it is true. If you don’t believe me, look at how few families bother to go over to Tom Sawyer Island anymore. I think that Tom Sawyer Island has a lot of potential, and some small updates could show today’s generation of kids that creating your own fun through adventure and exploring can be a lot of fun. I would love it if Disney added the Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom card game over at Tom Sawyer Island.
Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress – Update
Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress tells the story of the average American family through the 20th century. Because the nature of the show is about the technological improvements we’ve made, the show has been updated five times (1967, 1975, 1981, 1985, and 1993). The show has even gone through two different theme songs, both written by the Sherman Brothers. As you can see, the show has been updated before, but unfortunately the last update was over twenty years ago. A lot has changed in the last twenty years, and the attraction’s message of keeping up with the “great big beautiful tomorrow” is slightly diluted when the last scene is a flat screen television away from something right out of the early 1990s. This attraction certainly cannot be demolished it is treasure of Disney history, but they need to update this Disney treasure to do it justice.
Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room – Keep
Similar to Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress the Enchanted Tiki Room can’t be demolished as it is a classic Disney attraction, but unlike the Carousel of Progress, it doesn’t need a massive update. In fact, we have seen the Enchanted Tiki Room go through an update, and it was a disaster. In 1998, the attraction became The Enchanted Tiki Room (Under New Management), which was a horrible twist on the classic attraction that proved that this show should never be updated into something else. Trying to update this attraction by adding Lago and Zazu completely ruined anything pleasurable about this show.
BONUS: Electrical Water Pageant – Update
Although the Electrical Water Pageant isn’t right inside the Magic Kingdom, I included in this list as a bonus due to its proximity to the park. The Electrical Water Pageant is a classic Walt Disney World staple that has existed since the first month of resort’s operation. Sadly, the Electrical Water Pageant isn’t what it used to be. The technology behind the pageant is extremely dated, and I don’t think many guests go out of their way to watch it anymore. If the pageant was reimagined by the Disney Imagineers, and was given a decent budget, I think this could become something really special again.
