Disney Parks fans have been saying the quiet part loud for years now, and somehow the people making the decisions keep acting like they cannot hear us. So let’s go through it, because one day Disney is going to do some of these things and act completely surprised by the overwhelming positive response, and I need it on record that we told them so.
Twenty years without a non-IP ride in a US park. Say that out loud.
Expedition Everest opened in 2006. That is the last time Disney Parks gave American guests a ride that was not built around an existing intellectual property. Next year, there will be guests legally old enough to drink inside those parks who have never lived in a world where Disney opened a non-IP attraction. Even if you are a die-hard fan of themed lands and IP experiences, even if you think Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is the greatest thing ever built, you have to sit with that number for a second. Twenty years. That is not a creative philosophy anymore, that is a rut, and the parks desperately need someone to remind them that original experiences are part of what made Disney, Disney in the first place.
Livestream the D23 Parks Panel. This should not even be a conversation.
The D23 Parks Panel is some of the best free publicity Disney receives every other year. Fans lose their minds over it. The energy is electric. People who cannot attend are desperate to watch it in real time, and what does Disney give them? A grainy YouTube stream that looks like it was filmed through a potato. Put it on Disney+. Broadcast it properly. If you want to charge a few dollars for access, fine, though I would strongly advise against it because that is the kind of decision that turns goodwill into a social media pile-on before the panel starts. The point is that Disney is sitting on a marketing goldmine and actively choosing not to mine it, which is baffling. People are essentially clamoring to listen to Disney ads, and you (Disney) are telling them no. Make it make sense.
Princess Fairytale Hall should never have been built where it was built.
That location in Fantasyland was made for a slow-moving dark ride, full stop. Snow White’s Scary Adventures being a little too intense for the youngest guests is a conversation worth having, but the answer was never to replace it with a meet-and-greet hall. Slow-moving dark rides are in the DNA of Fantasyland. They are a core reason why people consistently say Disneyland feels more complete than Walt Disney World. Disneyland has held onto that tradition, and it shows. Meanwhile, Magic Kingdom’s Fantasyland dark ride collection is now essentially Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pan, and Journey of the Little Mermaid (if you want to count it). That is a thin lineup for the most iconic land in the most visited theme park on earth, and it did not have to be this way.
Give Bluey the respect she deserves.
Bluey is not simply a little kids’ cartoon. Bluey is a generational phenomenon. It is the biggest children’s franchise on the planet right now, and Disney is treating it like a distant cousin they are not sure they want to invite to the family reunion. A show at Disneyland is lovely. The meet-and-greet coming to Animal Kingdom is better than nothing. But what are we actually doing here? This IP is bigger than franchises that have entire lands built around them (Cars Land comes to mind), and Disney has it sitting in the corner like it is some niche property they are not quite sure about yet. A Bluey land, or at the absolute minimum a fully realized Bluey ride, is not a bold swing. It is the obvious answer to a question that has been screaming at them for a few years.
Bring back the Magical Express.
I am not going to spend three paragraphs on this because everyone already knows. It was a beloved service, it was taken away for reasons that felt like pure cost-cutting dressed up in corporate language, and guests have been vocal about wanting it back ever since. Disney knows this. Bring it back.
If Disney does not have a Pokémon response ready to go, they deserve what is coming.
Universal is getting Pokémon. That news is going to land like a meteor, and Disney needs to be ready to respond, not at the next D23, not in a carefully scheduled announcement six months later, but immediately. The moment Universal officially confirms Pokémon Land, Disney needs concept art ready. They need something to show. It does not have to be bigger; it does not have to outshine a Pokémon announcement because very little on earth is going to outshine a Pokémon announcement, but they have to show up to the fight. This is rap-beef-level competitive, and Disney cannot afford to stand there flat-footed while Universal drops one of the most valuable entertainment franchises in human history into their parks. Get in the room. Make the plan. Have the receipts ready.
We have been saying all of this for years. When Disney finally does it, and they will, remember that the fans knew first.
